Sitting on the floor of my room, staring at an empty suitcase. Wanting to go sideways, backwards, upwards anyway but forwards! I cant, What if ? Fear. Doubt. Pain. All these seem like perfectly good reasons to continue staring at my hollow suitcase, un moving. I have lived 2 years in Haiti and spent the last 6 months in the Middle East. Now its time to head back to the place that I call home, Goniaves, Haiti. I have been anticipating this since I left last June. But now here i sit overwhelmed and unable to shake my insecurities. Will it still feel like home? Will I be welcomed back? Can I even speak Creole anymore? But much like dear Mr. Bilbo I MUST GO FORWARD! Still feeling my way along the wall with my sword in hand. I dont know if I can still speak the language and my old house isnt my home anymore. But I will never know what adventures await me if I never get up and go! My life up until this point has been filled with unexpected adventures that I could have missed if I had never packed my bag and stepped out the front door. Living is a choice. It is my choice to become stuck in routine, mundane, just so so living afraid to take chances. OR it is my choice to live in the freedom of knowing that God has gone ahead of me and all His footsteps point FORWARD. My heart is overwhelmed with excitement to get my feet dirty and hold my kids again! I have spent 8 months missing my friends and my students! The love I have for them and that beautiful place help to shatter any chain that the enemy would try and use to force me backwards. Look out Haiti here I come!!
