Singing in the rain

(This post has nothing to do with Haiti. It was just a beautiful moment I wanted to share)

 Yesterday was a dreary, cold, wet day. It was a perfect day for chinese food and a movie marathon on the sofa. A few friends and I gathered around the TV with junk food in hand and prepared to be lazy all day! After the first movie the rain seemed to be coming down in sheets while the thunder and lightning shook the house. After the first movie was over we decided we need a little break before starting the next one.  Do you ever feel like sometimes we talk because we just like the sound of our own voices? We have nothing to say really we just don’t know how to enjoy silence. As I sat there watching my friends play games on their phones and snack I could no longer ignore the pull to go outside into the rain.  I didn’t say a word I just slipped quietly outside and seated myself on the ground of the porch.  Do you remember when rain was a welcomed friend to play with? I can remember jumping in every puddle until my toes turned into little raisins in my shoes. When did rain become something to avoid?  As I sat on the front porch I closed my eyes and listened. As I listened to the rain hit the ground around me and the swaying of the branches above me an overwhelming sense of wonder began to fill me.  It was beautiful! Suddenly it became very clear to me that everything around me was worshiping. The rain, the wind, and the birds they had all joined together on this seemingly blah day to glorify the one true God. I was in awe. All of a sudden I was singing. I’m not sure if I decided to or if my soul just knew? Either way there I sat on the front porch worshiping with the rain in kreyol.  I stayed there for what seemed like hours making up my own songs to the rhythm of the rain and the wind. Before I went back inside I began just thanking God for drawing me out into the storm. As I walked in the door I thought I heard Him whisper Thanks for listening I’ve missed you! J I couldn’t believe that the God of the universe missed me and wanted to spend a little one on one time with me. Who am I?? I am His beloved and He is mine.  This is not about me being great or always obedient because truthfully I probably don’t listen half as often as I am called. I just want to encourage whoever reads this to get up and go out into the rain when you feel Him pulling at you. If I would have stayed inside I would have missed a beautiful moment between me and Jesus.

We are!

I wish I had something profound and extraordinary to say about my week spent in Haiti but I dont really ...... The school looks amazing and all the teachers seem to be doing a great job with the students! My feet got dirty (finally) and a cold coke never
tasted so sweet!. Most importantly all my favorite people in the world were there looking just like I left them. Some people have moved and roles have changed but there is an abundance of love and family there that permeates my very being! I have missed that more then anything else I think. To be in a place where I feel truly known, the good the bad and all the stuff in between.  We work together, play together, rejoice and weep together. We are a community of messed up people trying to do this thing called life well TOGETHER. We don't always want to do it but we love each other enough to do it anyway  We haven't always been a family and maybe we wont always be one. But right now in that place at this time WE ARE! I needed  to remember that!

Forward Motion

 "Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter.”  - The Hobbit 

                 Sitting on the floor of my room, staring at an empty suitcase. Wanting to go sideways, backwards, upwards anyway but forwards! I cant, What if ?  Fear. Doubt. Pain. All these seem like perfectly good reasons to continue staring at my hollow suitcase, un moving. I have lived 2 years in Haiti and spent the last 6 months in the Middle East. Now its time to head back to the place that I call home, Goniaves, Haiti. I have been anticipating this since I left last June. But now here i sit overwhelmed and unable to shake my insecurities. Will it still feel like home? Will I be welcomed back? Can I even speak Creole anymore? But much like dear Mr. Bilbo I MUST GO FORWARD! Still feeling my way along the wall with my sword in hand. I dont know if I can still speak the language and my old house isnt my home anymore. But I will never know what adventures await me if I never get up and go!  My life up until this point has been filled with unexpected adventures that I could have missed  if I had never packed my bag and stepped out the front door. Living is a choice. It is my choice to become stuck in routine, mundane, just so so living afraid to take chances. OR it is my choice to live in the freedom of knowing that God has gone ahead of me and all His footsteps point FORWARD.  My heart is overwhelmed with excitement to get my feet dirty and hold my kids again! I have spent 8 months missing my friends and my students! The love I have for them and that beautiful place help to shatter any chain that the enemy would try and use to force me backwards. Look out Haiti here I come!!